Finding Community: Monsters, Queens, and Scary Slimy Things

These days...okay by days I mean 2 weeks I've been living with monsters, queens and scary slimy things.  Single livin' these days ain't so quiet...and I love it (kinda)!  My furniture is in paid storage and I'm taking over the garage and dining room of my friend's home, like a jungle.  Then again a jungle is where dinos roar and swamps are found, right?  I'm living in this awesome world with a 4 & 7 year old.

I'll be moving this weekend...of course it's literally [said with a British accent because it just sounds awesome] 3 houses down the same road.  But there's something unique about living with kids...the joy and beauty that I'm going to miss.  The little girl came into my room one morning and I invited her onto the bed.  She propped up elbow onto my pillows with her head in her hand and we talked about life from a 4 year old's perspective.  It was sweet.  Then there's the morning breakfast that I love doing for the kiddos before the mom is up, the conversations I have with the 7 year old make me realize that everything is new to him and the questions he asks are so profound...and sometimes downright silly.

I love the after-bedtime routine when my long-time friend and I just stay up talking.  Then the next morning making coffee a necessity.  I came to their house without a pre-determined exit plan because I was discerning my next steps.  I thought I might be staying here longer but an opportunity for a different type of community-living opened up, so in just a few days I'll be moving for the 2nd time this summer.

Yet for now I'll enjoy the early morning giggles and late night convos.


Assignment:  "Day 4: The big F-word.  Nothing kills dreams like fear.  Today, it's time to face a few of ours.  Your task is to write down your biggest fears in your journal.  That's it, today!  I just want them to hit paper." - Jon Acuff

• Fear 1:  I'll be judged for what I say.  
• Fear 2:  Writing about relationships as a single is scary...what if no guy wants to date me after he reads my writing...wait a sec, I don't really date anyways.  Never mind.  
• Fear 3:  I won't be consistent in my writing and if I tell people then don't do it I lose face [well, hopefully I still have my face]  

(Completed 8/15/13 at 11:47 PM)

Finding Community: Stress? What stress?

I'm transitioning...for a 2nd time this summer.

I don't like to be stagnate but this has been one of the more challenging seasons with moving homes, moving churches, moving offices.  And it's really ironic actually b/c I was considering moving out-of-state, alas God was teaching me to TRUST deeper and wider...then He brought me right back to where I started a year ago.  On the exact same street I use to live in, now 2 houses away!

I had two strong senses in April:  I'd be transitioning and to get ready b/c it would happen fast.  So, on faith I started packing  believing He'd reveal in His timing, not my own.  Then all of a sudden God starting aligning - opening areas I never thought of, closed doors I was considering - and confirming how important COMMUNITY is to me.  

Over this last year, I've felt very split with my ministry and not being able to fully invest in people at church, my job, and the outside community.  God's made it very clear to me, although a difficult decision, that I need to focus on my ministry with college students and in same small town.  I have a reconfigured job in which I'm letting go of the high administration tasks so that I can focus on what I do best - connecting, mentoring, and developing students in leadership & diversity.  In addition, through only what I call a God-circumstance, I am now under the Spiritual Life Office - and my new boss is the campus pastor!  This is seriously a deep desire that I've had to be planted in the campus ministries dept to be a part of the spiritual formation in the university community.

I did this as a step of obedience although I wasn't able to see the whole picture and now just this week even more amazing things have been happening to repeatedly affirm how grateful I am to be merging under the umbrella of campus ministries and to be walking out my strengths in an affirming team environment. Stress isn't always bad, (less so if you count the amount of dark chocolate and ice-cream I am consuming) the changes are actually EXACTLY where I want to be in this season.

Yet, it isn't bad to admit when I feel overwhelmed. Which I am.

I don't like to tell people when I'm not doing well, it makes me feel weak. I'm finding though that in my weakness I am finding a community ready and willing to be hands and feet to me - to help me move my offices and homes. This is the beauty and difficulty of being right where He has called me.

Assignment:  Day 3, find some super heros.  Chances are, regardless of what your risk is, someone else has already done it.  Today's task is to find 1-3 people who have accomplished what you're aiming for during these 24 days.  Research them online and see what you can learn from the trail they have already blazed.

• Allison Vesterfelt writes on life, blogging/publishing and single life before she got married.  I love her style of writing.  It's easy to read and the layout is nice.  She has been a person that has inspired me...except for that one time I saw her in a coffeeshop and was practically speechless...although I did "punch fear in the face" [thankfully not her face] and go up and talk with her, her husband, and sister.  
• Jon Acuff started out blogging, wrote a book...a few now, and is hecka funny...yes, I guess I really did say that.  He's the one who is doing #StartExp and keeping me motivated with his community and daily assignments for 24 days.  You are my super hero Jon!  The day I met you at the ACSD conference 2013 and you wrote "I love your laugh" in my book is the day we became friends.  
• Paul Sohn and I met a few months ago through a leadership organization connection and it wasn't until I Facebooked him that I saw he wrote and blogged on leadership as a "Kingdom-minded world changer".  If I recall correctly, he had a dream to write and so made a goal to do so.  

Another goal for me would be to actually READ what they write!  

Finding Community: The Love-Hate Relationship Online

I love him.  

I hate him.  

Online relationships can be headachy.  At times exasperating.  Who's with me here?  

Finding community is about boundaries.  

BOUNDARIES. 

And let's be real here.  Writing online can be tough.  Reading messages online can be tougher.  I've been learning that I have control of my time and self-care is so important.  I get to choose what I filter in and what I say "no way Jose" [by the way, who is Jose?] to.   

Oh, did I mention who I have the love-hate relationship with?  

Facebook.   

And you thought I was talking about a guy now, didn't you?  Perhaps for you it's YouTube or work emails or Hulu.  I took a 4 year sabbatical from internet at my home and I'm 5 years strong from TV.  At times I'll get online to watch a show or two but my tendency of stress is gluttony in all things.  I can get too focused on a good thing and turn it into a negative.  It's not everyone's struggle.  

I chose to put boundaries on my relationship.  And it's good.  So good.  Yet, I haven't completely cut off the relationship from my life because there are benefits:  I have celebrated significant milestones, reconnected with high school friends, and even supported college students in their trials and heartbreaks through FB [I advise and mentor undergraduates].

My most recent support has come in a different way.  Giving encouragement is easy for me, receiving and asking for it is hard.  Yet I have been through a challenging season with transitions in all areas:  work, church, home and my mentor and hero of a Grandma that I call "Grams" passing away.  So I HAD to ask for support by sharing all the stress in my life.

And it was good.  Really good.  

I found this beautiful thing called community:  Family.  Friends.  Colleagues.  
Students.  

Assignment:  Return to paper with a journal, write 1-3 sentences every day about what you are doing (Completed 8/13/13 @ 11:30 PM)

Just START - Day 1

GET OUT. GET MOVING. START.

ACTION ALWAYS BEATS INTENTION.

A dream you don't have to fight for isn’t a dream—it’s a nap. One changes your afternoon. The other changes your world. Keep fighting. - Jon Acuff

On my 35th birthday (August 9th) I was on Facebook and Jon Acuff's challenge came onto my newsfeed.  I could not resist...I mean his title spoke to the core of who I am:  Adventurers Wanted.  Of course I just tried to go to the page to show you how awesome the inspirational motivation was but he did indeed do what he said he would:  delete the post within 24 hours.  Dang, now I regret not copy & pasting, alas, life will go on.  So here I am in Track 101, 2nd cohort of #START EXP.

Risk Start Goal:  I will blog every day for 24 days on sushishelley.blogspot.com

My accountability is through FB's #StartExp Bloggers and #StartExp Northwest [It's a closed group so you might not be able to see much] You'll want to keep up with me on this site!

A few rules I came up with:

• Just write.  Don't get bogged down with the perfect wording
• Blog every day for 24 days starting here today
• Topics are up to the discretion of the author (me!)
• Don't worry about the judgement of others (you.  yup you.)
• Remember your dream that is deeply rooted in your ministry to encourage others

Assignment:  Turn a risk into 1-3 actions.  
- Blog Day 1 about starting (Completed 8/12/13 @ 9:45 AM)