Shine A Little Joy

I like kids. They are inquisitive and don’t have all the baggage that adults seem to come with.

I was tired. I hadn’t gone to bed early the night before and I wanted a nap. I didn’t even want to stop anywhere for errands but I know I should since it was on my way. After stopping by the fruit stand I was driving through a back alley and spotted two disheveled little girls playing in the dirt outside a rundown home. Out of a seemingly bleak situation, the older girl turned up her head and her dirt-covered hands waved at me. I just saw God in and through her as I smiled and reflected her actions. How often do I go out of my way to shine a little joy?

Then a few minutes later I pull my car onto the kid infested neighborhood street and park my car at my home. A 6th grade girl always says, “Hi Shelley” and just those few words as she whizzes by on her bike or rollerblades just gives me a sense of belonging. She is the only one that I really know b/c she makes the effort to chat with me. She came up with two other girls who are sisters. Then they ask where I live and are trying to sort out in their mind why I live with people who aren't my family.

“What happen to your home?” one little girl inquires.  The questions kids have are good ones.  When I tell them I rent from the family, the older girl bluntly asks, “How much do you pay them?”  I pause trying to think of what to say when the youngest girl interjects towards her, “That’s none of your business!” and I laughingly rely, “Yea, that’s right!” I explained to them that I pay them b/c it costs money for utilities.

Of course they asked my age, saying, “Are you like 20 or something”? When I said I was 30 yrs old they were all a little shocked saying I looked so young…well, a week doesn’t go by that I don’t get a comment like that from someone, even kiddos!

I’m reminded to pause. To take time for others, even children. To not let my own desires get in the way. We all need a little joy...I found mine today.

Speak to Me

It was a glorious Sunday and I'm in the mist of a funk and just needing God to speak to me. I downloaded a few new songs on my i-pod and went jogging. I needed to get out and be about taking care of myself physically and mentally.

Here's an excerpt from Mandisa's “The Definition of Me” that I connected with today.

I want to be about something different
Something more than the mirror can see

Like joy, peace
Alive in me
When it comes to my identity

I want the love
I want the light
I want the beauty
On the inside
I want the one that you can't see
To be the definition of me

Thinking Thoughts: Part II

Well, I've had this blog for a year and I haven't even written on it. I think it's time. I'd like to say I'll be writing every week--but I could fail. Rather, it's a place for me to write out my thoughts as I walk the road as a Christian--sharing the good and the bad. Showing my imperfections while hopefully gaining insights into this place we call LIFE.

I have a lot on my mind. I think deep thoughts. I hope through writing that I can wrestle with what it means as I go through different seasons and have this as a reminder that life is meant to be lived with passion and purpose, although at times I may bumble my way through.

This or That

I want to share with you all--of God's faithfulness, no matter what the circumstances, but what I don't want is for any of you to be upset at the humans involved--for ultimately HE is in control of my life (and your life). As it says in James 4:13-15, "Now listen, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.' Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow...instead we ought to say 'If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that'".

These last few days I've been really anxious and stressed and realized that I had head knowledge that I could trust in God and He would be faithful, but the heart and emotions weren't fully connected. So I waited and tried my best to lay everything at HIS feet.

Today I ended up just bawling...in my office. Then minutes later praising God no matter what.

Through difficult work circumstances I'm going through I now ask the LORD, "what is my next adventure"? I have so many other visions and dreams for my life. I love variety. I love travel. I want to be passionate about sharing Christ.

I have no idea my next steps...and that's okay.

I'm simply reminded that nothing happens is without a purpose. Somehow, He'll use this season for my future, and for this I'm grateful.