My quip back was "Of course I do"!
His nonchalant judgement hurt a bit. He doesn't know me. Or my story. I didn't feel a huge need to defend myself because God knows my heart's desires. I wait. I am not sitting on the sidelines waiting for marriage. I actively pursue opportunities professionally & personally. I put myself out there in dating. I pray that I become a woman after God's own heart. Yet, I am not perfect. And that is okay.
This morning I realize that I need to change my word from "expectations" to "standards" as I listened to Sara Groves on Boundless.org podcast #209. She talked about those two words and how we need to “Let life unfold" without expectations but to have high standards. Her thoughts were exactly what I was thinking. We should all have high standards for a dating relationship but let go of our expectations. Expectations put the other person at a disadvantage from the start because if they don't meet our requirements than we judge them. Standards make sure that we aren't settling for just anyone and within that context then we discover who they are without judgement.
Expectations seem self-centered. It's needy. "What can I get from this relationship?" is the theme rather than "What can I gain from this relationship"?
On a larger scale, this can go for any relationship. I used to have huge expectations on family and friends. When I didn't get my needs met from them than I was hurt and disappointed. Ultimately, for any relationship we need to allow God to do the work in all of our lives. I don't need to try to control a situation but allow God to guide & direct the path. To walk through the open doors. To go to Him when doors close. To not give up. To pursue life - life to the full. To know above all the challenges of this life that God has our best interests in mind and His ways are so much better than the world's.
Two words. Two different meanings.
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